January 12, 2022

How addiction to pornography could be affecting your dating.

Clearly, there are halachic, spiritual and psychological issues with pornography. Here we are looking at ‘addiction’ to porn, which means that the person feels a degree of compulsion. An addiction will interfere with your normal functioning, and it will undermine the level of focus and motivation that you could otherwise direct towards dating. Dating takes […]

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Coping with disappointment in dating: The Rollercoaster syndrome.

It is normal that even successful dating will be accompanied by some degree of disappointment, as it is almost impossible to find someone who is 100% what you prefer. However, some people are affected by what we call “The Rollercoaster syndrome,” which makes this a much more extreme process. Such people begin the dating by

Coping with disappointment in dating: The Rollercoaster syndrome. Read More »

I feel all he is interested in are my looks.

Even if we consider ourselves good-looking and are proud of our appearance, we feel cheapened when other people are overly focused on our external appearance instead of our inner worth. It is worth remembering that “men will be men,” and so long as it is not extreme it is not necessarily a problem, depending on

I feel all he is interested in are my looks. Read More »

Are there actually two of you dating? Why you may be perpetually dissatisfied.

Some people find that whomever they date, they invariably find themselves dissatisfied. Nothing seems to work for them. Usually, people who struggle in this way think they are being entirely reasonable and are entirely unaware there could be a problem in how they view things. A common cause is that the person has “a divided

Are there actually two of you dating? Why you may be perpetually dissatisfied. Read More »

Are you afraid of getting close?

Are you fine dating until the point where the dating turns “serious?” As soon as you sense that you have crossed over into “commitment territory,” all kinds of issues come to the fore and not from the most positive perspective? You most likely consider this rethinking and reevaluating completely understandable, as you have now got

Are you afraid of getting close? Read More »

Is there anything wrong with dating two people at the same time?

Why should anyone feel the need to do so? There are two divergent reasons, which are the basis for the two distinct types of double dating. There are people who are eager to get married. There are quite a number of reasons why someone may consider that double dating would be a good idea. This

Is there anything wrong with dating two people at the same time? Read More »

“I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up.”

Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing. Experiencing guilt and shame means identifying what psychologists call an

“I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up.” Read More »

Do I have to tell my date problematic things I have done in the past?

If nothing else, dating is about honesty. There are several important reasons for this. The main element of dating is “mutual self-disclosure,” whereby each party progressively shares and reveals more about themselves. Dating is also about being yourself and letting go, rather than anxiously screening everything you say. Marriage is based on trust, and hiding

Do I have to tell my date problematic things I have done in the past? Read More »

He says “I am not ready, let’s continue dating”. Should I agree?

The person you are dating says: “I still do not know how I feel about the relationship, but I really like you and want to keep going and see where it takes us”? How do you respond at this point? Some things to consider: Where in the dating process is this request coming; has overall

He says “I am not ready, let’s continue dating”. Should I agree? Read More »

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