A lot of problems would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talking about each other.

Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, anger, frustration, sadness….so many of these negative emotions all stem from the fact that two people don’t talk to each other about things.  

By not talking it through, you aren’t giving the other person a chance to share what is going on for them, what support they need, their fears, their intentions. What is holding you back from talking about it – your own fears, pride, afraid of the work that you may have to do?

It may not be easy to bring it up. But, it is so important.  You may really come to some new breakthroughs in the relationship, or new ideas to support each other.

  1. Begin from a place of empathy. Imagine what they may feel like when you bring it up and plan to make it as easy as possible for them to be part of this potentially uncomfortable conversation.
  2. Start with an invitation to talk when you both have time and are not stressed out by work or engaged in other distractions. Start by reassuring them how much the relationship means to you, and let them know that you want to talk about something that may be hard to hear, and their feedback is important to you.
  3. Let the outcome remain open. State what is on your mind, but don’t have an exact expectation of what the next steps are. You need to be open to your partner’s point of view just as much as you want them to be open to yours.
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