Acknowledge your own sensitivities and turn criticism into requests
Often you can avoid conflict by prefacing your reactions, comments, and criticism with a statement that acknowledges your own sensitivities. “I know I need more attention than a lot of other people do” rather than “You don’t pay enough attention to me.”
Why this works: People like to give to others. In general, the more you couch your request as having to do with your needs rather than your spouse’s failings, the more likely you are to be heard.
To consider: Some sentence openers:
-“I know I get stressed by …. and I am bit compulsive about …”
-“Even though what you are doing doesn’t bother many others, it does annoy me…. I’d appreciate if you would …”