Avoid global labels – criticizing the whole person, rather than the action.
When criticizing the person instead of the action, you are essentially saying that the other person is bad, to the core.
In using global labels you are trying to wash your hands of any responsibility for the problem or your feelings around their action. However, at the same time, your spouse will feel unable and unwilling to do anything about it either.
“You are so lazy.”
“You are so self centered.”
“You are so helpless.”
Instead, address the current problem.
“When you left the socks on the floor, I felt distressed. I like a clean house.” –