Most people want to be noticed and acknowledged and addressed as their best self. At least as someone admirable and respectable.
For yourself, when you think of your spouse, think of them as their best (better) self. And then express that out loud to them. And to others.
“He isn’t home much because he is working so hard for our family to have all these wonderful things. He is a great provider.”
“She is so good as listening to people. Even others in the community call her in their moments of pain.”
“Even though s/he has so many things on his plate, s/he always has a smile and a joke when things are stressful.”
“I know you work so hard so that we can have all these things. And I know that you love your work. At the same time, I miss our evenings together. I would so love to do that every so often again. How about next week?”