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Allow time and space for your spouse to process what you said.

You are the one who had a catalyst for this thought – something got you thinking or acting on this. You have been thinking about the issue for a while. You’ve been mulling over it in your head.
But the idea is new to your spouse.

They need to process it in their own way. On their own terms. They may have to see if and how the idea fits into their way of thinking and being.

You may have been thinking about eating only healthy foods. You may have been inspired by a workshop you attended or by your friend’s energy. You may have found recipes that you have actually tried and found tasty.

But all this is new to your spouse – who really enjoys a big danish with sugar laden coffee a few times a day.

You can’t just spring the idea on them and expect them to take it on immediately. You have to give them time to process. And the room to reject your idea – at least for them. –
They may or may not come around to your idea. After all, what you are asking for will bring a disruption to life as they know it. You are bringing change to their lives, and change takes time. Or the change may not be right for your family. At this time.

J.O.T. [Just One Thing]

Through the years, many clients and students have reached out for guidance and support. They came seeking encouragement and assistance with relationship challenges. They asked tough questions. They explored their role in the relationship. They enhanced their communication and conflict resolution skills.  They adopted productive mindsets that helped them enrich their marriage, family life and so many other aspects of their lives.

Adai Ad’s (JOT) Just One Thing series was developed to share short and practical relationship insights, tools and mindsets every morning (via whatsapp and social media). These are widely received all over the world.

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