We all have blind spots — aspects of our personalities that we don’t know exist. And they affect our performance, our success and our relationships. But since we don’t know them, we can’t work on them.
Proactively ask your spouse to point them out. Maybe ask for just one at a time. “What is one blind spot you think I have that I should be more aware of? Please think about it and let’s schedule a time to talk.”
“I’m noticing that people don’t want to be in my company. I’d so value your feedback- is there something I am doing that I am not aware of?”
Make it comfortable and safe for your spouse to give you this feedback. “I will not try to defend or excuse myself. I just need to see myself through your eyes.”
Then actually work on that aspect of your character. If you don’t, then your spouse won’t be offering this type of feedback in the future.