“Should” is one of the most judgmental words you can use. Telling people what they should or shouldn’t do, say, or think makes you the judge and ruler of their thoughts and decisions. It evokes and builds negative thoughts about the other person.
Instead of “She should have called…”
say, “I wish she had called.”
Instead of “You should be taking out the trash.”
say, “It would be so much easier for me if you took out the trash.”