Check in with your spouse rather than just announcing your plans

You want to make plans with friends? Check in with your spouse and make sure it works for your spouse instead of just informing them.

In this way, they will feel considered and will probably tell you to have a good time. If you simply announce what you are doing, they are likely to feel abandoned and might become angry.

“My friend wants to go out on Monday evening, is that alright with you?” “I want to go out on Wednesday for a special date night, how does that work for you?” “I want to buy [some big purchase], what do you think?” “I want to go [somewhere], that would mean that I need to take the car that day. Can you make that work?”

“… Are you good with this?” “… Is this acceptable to you?”
“… Is it OK?”
“… Will you be able to make it?”
“… How does this work with your schedule?”
“…..Are you available then?”

By considering each other’s needs, and knowing you are each part of the equation when it comes to making plans and choices, you at least leave room for both of you to voice your preferences before making the final decision. 

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