Studies have found that when we feel close to someone, “mirror neurons” help us both imitate their behavior and understand their feelings.
In other words, your spouse will pick up on your behaviors and words and will mirror it back to you. So, you start and your spouse will soon follow.
If your spouse is in a grumpy mood, your mirror neurons may trigger you to be grumpy too. BUT, you can consciously overcome that and act calmly in a good mood. That can trigger the other person’s mirror neurons to become more calm. You can’t get someone to go from zero to sixty, but you can get them from zero to ten, then maybe to thirty.
Are you going to let other people hijack you into a bad mood, or will you be the one to make their shift?