Don’t compromise, negotiate.

Compromise usually comes out as a win-lose scenario; it means that someone wins and someone loses. Often in a relationship, we find ourselves compromising for our partner, always accommodating our partner. “All right, whatever you say.” “If that’s the way it has to be.” If one person is always compromising in this way, it will erode the relationship.

Such compromising to ‘keep the peace’ might solve an immediate situation, but over time it creates an imbalance or inequality in the relationship.

Better than compromise is negotiation. Negotiation is a win-win scenario. There may be some back and forth until both decide on something that is mutually beneficial. Both win.

Each party has an agenda that they bring to the table and then they negotiate until they come up with something that works for both. In a negotiation, each person gets something in exchange for giving something their partner wants.

In compromise, neither partner actually gets what they want. They often settle on some middle ground between two ends of an issue, with the result that neither is satisfied with the solution.

Negotiate, not compromise.

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