Don’t let others interfere in your marriage

Keep your boundaries. Your spouse and the family you created together are your first priorities. Don’t let anyone or anything interfere with that. Not your parents, not your friends, not your work. Especially not your parents.

Parents usually mean well when they give advice or ask questions. Or they sincerely need your help or time. At the same time, your priority should be to your spouse. עַל־כֵּן֙ יַֽעֲזָב־אִ֔ישׁ אֶת־אָבִ֖יו וְאֶת־אִמּ֑וֹ וְדָבַ֣ק בְּאִשְׁתּ֔וֹ “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” – Beraishis 2:24

It would be wrong to pick your parents over your spouse. Your spouse can become resentful of both you and them. Understandably so. And that is never good for any relationship.

Your parents might be putting you in a tough spot – to choose them or your spouse. It can be stressful to navigate that; but don’t let that out on your spouse. Instead, talk it through with your spouse, work out realistic parameters and then convey it all to your parents – in a way that respects your spouse. –> “My parents need my time. And I want to be here with you and the kids. How can we make that all work?” –> “My dear parents. I know you need [something] from me. I have to balance that with the needs of my spouse and family. I can come over twice a month, not twice a week.”

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