Sometimes, we sabotage our own happiness and that of our relationships with our own thoughts. Our minds go on and on endlessly with “Why isn’t it better”, “It shouldn’t have happened that way”, “What if …”. Judgments, expectations, worries, resentments, and stories about what should and shouldn’t happen. We don’t allow ourselves to just enjoy where we are. We get in our own way.
Slow down and notice your thought patterns. Are you worrying? regretting? wishing for something that just can’t be?
True, there are times that looking backward can be helpful in personal growth. And there is a time for planning for the future. But really most of the time, we are just getting in our own way.
Think of the bigger picture and not the details. Enjoy your relationship – with all its wonderful moments. And the less than best moments.
When those sabotaging thoughts or voices come through your mind, thank them for ‘coming by’ and change the subject. Think of something that is working well in your relationship. Or think about something that brings you peace. Whatever works for you. Just get out of your own way.