Give yourself permission to lean on your partner.

Of course, you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but one of the nice things about being married is that you don’t have to shoulder life all on your own. Let your spouse take care of you once in a while. You don’t have to do it alone.

Your spouse wants what is best for you. They really want your life to be comfortable and with as little stress as possible. In a caring marriage, your spouse will have your back and you can lean on them. This supporting each other is an important part of relationship.

Help your spouse know how to support you. What do you want or need from them? Do you need physical or emotional support? Some esteem boosting? Advice? Practical help? Comfort? Validation? Help solving a problem? Time alone? Make a decision so you don’t have to?

If you don’t know, then ask that too: “I don’t know what I need, maybe you can offer some suggestions.”

Don’t expect that they will notice that you could use their support. Ask for what you want or need. Don’t hint. Don’t demand.

If you haven’t asked for their support when you could have benefitted, reflect on that: why haven’t you asked? What is going on for you that you don’t ask. Are you not clear on what you need? Do you not want to seem needy or fragile? Do you not want to burden your spouse? Are you afraid to show your vulnerabilities? Might it have something to do with how other people have treated you in the past? Are you getting support from someone else?

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