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How not to apologize: using words like “obviously” and “misconstrued”

Two words that have no place in any apology: “obviously” and “misconstrued.”

“I obviously didn’t mean to hurt you.”
The word “obviously” is not a humble word. If you obviously didn’t mean the horrible thing you said, why did you say it?
And if something really is obvious—if, say, you obviously didn’t intend to lose the tickets to the event, why point out it out?

“You misconstrued my noble intentions; that is not at all what I meant.” The word “misconstrued” puts the onus on the other for failing to see your real intentions. When using the word “misconstrued”, the speaker is trying to say that they are not the one at fault. In a good apology, you do not present yourself as the aggrieved one.

J.O.T. [Just One Thing]

Through the years, many clients and students have reached out for guidance and support. They came seeking encouragement and assistance with relationship challenges. They asked tough questions. They explored their role in the relationship. They enhanced their communication and conflict resolution skills.  They adopted productive mindsets that helped them enrich their marriage, family life and so many other aspects of their lives.

Adai Ad’s (JOT) Just One Thing series was developed to share short and practical relationship insights, tools and mindsets every morning (via whatsapp and social media). These are widely received all over the world.

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