Life is stressful. We all have a lot going on. Lots on our plate, lots on our mind. And all that stress might get in the way of playfulness and intimacy.
It might be impossible to totally put aside all of life to be playful together. You might think of it as a series of switches – some stress ones, some relaxed/happy. The goal is to have more relaxed switches set to ‘on’ than stressed ones. At least temporarily so that you can enjoy each other’s company – which will probably put you in a better mood.
You may not be able to switch all stress switches to ‘off’. Your goal is to help each other turn as many stress switches to ‘off’ as possible – at least temporarily. Take a responsibility of your spouse’s ‘To-do’ list. Listen to their vent. Offer support.
And also try to turn some happy switches ‘on’. Give a compliment. Bring home a small something that you spouse enjoys. Do something nice for their parents.
You know what works for your spouse.
You can also work to turn ‘off’ your own stress switches and turn ‘on’ your happy switches. You know what works for you. A quick run, a hot cup of coffee, listening to music, talking to a friend.