It may be time to challenge the old adage “perception is reality”. Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories abut what is going on; we add our own interpretations and sensitivities to the reality.
It is worth digging down to challenge your perception to see if it is actually the reality. Ask yourself these 4 questions.
Let’s work with the story that you tell yourself that your spouse doesn’t value your inputs:
Q1. Is it true?
You are looking for a Yes or a No – a one word answer. Be still as you let the absolute truth come from within yourself. (The real truth – not what you wish or hope or dream it ought to be.) Q2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Can you absolutely KNOW that your spouse really does not value your inputs? Can you read their mind?
Q3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
How do you react when you think that your spouse doesn’t value your input – within yourself? to your spouse? Notice the effect that thought or story has on you; is it helpful to your reality?
Q4. Who would you be without that thought?
How might you feel or react if you didn’t believe that story? Might you feel more willing to share? to listen? to act lovingly? be able to think more clearly?
BE WARY OF THE STORIES YOU TELL YOURSELF. – based on Bryon Katie’s 4 questions