Does your spouse feel that they can really share their feelings and thoughts and they will be received with respect? Do they feel relaxed enough to be themselves 100%. A happy marriage is one where both feel safe. Safety depends on attitudes and behaviors that support emotional connection and deep respect for each other.
If one or the other feels insecure, distrustful or emotionally threatened, the marriage simply won’t be intimate or happy as it could be.
Do you answer their ideas and concerns with respect, curiosity, interest or scorn, defensiveness, ridicule?
If you had to rate the safety of your marriage, what number would you give it? What number might your spouse give?