It may not be what you planned; you can work through your disappointments

Things not going as you had envisioned or planned? You had expectations that didn’t quite pan out?

“Yom Tov shouldn’t be this way”, “We should have had our parents for Yom Tov.”, “It’s not fair to have to do this and not be able to do that.”

Allow yourself to feel the feeling for a brief moment. Don’t judge yourself for having those thoughts. But only a brief moment. Don’t dwell on the dashed expectations; the discontent and frustration you will feel is entirely your own creation.

Recognize that you can only control what you can control. Think: “I will get through this, even if I don’t like what’s happening.” “This is all so absurd, the only way through it is to laugh at it all.”

Lean in to what is indeed happening. Don’t let your disappointments make you lose sight of your present.

Look for the positives in whatever is happening. With an open and creative mind, you’ll find them. It may take some reframing of the situation. “So much family bonding.” “Without guests this year, we can create our own family traditions.” “We get to try out a low key chol hamoed experience.”

Your attitude is contagious. If you are upbeat, the others around you will pick up on that. If you harbor disappointment, the others will multiply that too. 

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