It’s important to have friends when you’re married.

Of course, you and your spouse should have a deep friendship with each other. Additionally, you each should have friends besides each other – in a healthy balance. After spending some time with friends, we can come back to the relationship feeling fulfilled and energized.

Make time for your friends. Allow time for your spouse’s friends.

  • Friendships take some pressure off your spouse. Your partner plays a lot of roles in your life, but they simply cannot (and should not) have to be everything for you.
  • Friendships help you pursue your interests— even if you don’t share them with your spouse. Going with a friend to [a ballgame, shopping] will probably be more enriching and energizing than with someone who doesn’t appreciate that. Your spouse probably would rather hear about you having a great time than having to suffer through a compromise by attending that event with you.
  • Having friends can be a great source of support – practically and emotionally. Having a person to call outside of your home when in need, or having someone who can listen to you is a valuable resource.
  • Friendships are a great place to see and hear different perspectives. A good friend can be a mirror and show us where we are not showing up as our best self – in any aspect of life such as in our marriage, in our parenting, at work, etc.
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