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Keep focused on the issue. Don’t allow distractions

Often when you bring up an issue – even if you say it with sensitivity and with “I statements” and all – the other person may want to avoid dealing with the issue. Stay focused, don’t fall for their distractions.

Some typical distractions are:
Denial: “I would never do that.”
Defensiveness: “You weren’t there, so you don’t know exactly what happened.”
Deflection: “I’m not the only one who does that. Why are you bringing it up only to me?”
(Note that these are all ego-protecting mechanisms.)

Bring the conversation back to the issue at hand. “I want to focus on [the issue I brought up] so we can resolve it.”

J.O.T. [Just One Thing]

Through the years, many clients and students have reached out for guidance and support. They came seeking encouragement and assistance with relationship challenges. They asked tough questions. They explored their role in the relationship. They enhanced their communication and conflict resolution skills.  They adopted productive mindsets that helped them enrich their marriage, family life and so many other aspects of their lives.

Adai Ad’s (JOT) Just One Thing series was developed to share short and practical relationship insights, tools and mindsets every morning (via whatsapp and social media). These are widely received all over the world.

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