DISCUSS TOGETHER

Your Apology Languages

Each of you may have different preferences about what is an effective and healing apology – your ‘apology language’. Discuss what words of apology you would like to hear in each of these scenarios.  Discuss why those words would feel more healing to you. (Make up your own details for each scenario.)

  1.  I forgot how much you don’t like that.
  2. I was in a foul mood.
  3. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
  4. I was feeling insecure.
  5. I didn’t know of another way to express my disappointment
  6. You were pushing my buttons.
  1. Wow, that blew up. It wasn’t at all what I had intended.
  2. I thought I would have time to do it, but in the end, I didn’t do it.
  3. I was hungry (hangry).
  4. You touched on a trigger and I just went off.
  5. I wasn’t thinking.
  6. I didn’t understand what you wanted me to do, and so I did it this way.

How do these words make you feel?

Discuss what you think of these words of apology – how they make you feel.
As applicable, share how you might change it to be even more helpful.

  1. “I messed up. I’m sorry.”
  2. “Oops. That wasn’t at all what I meant to say.”
  3. “I’m sorry that I said that comment. I see now that it was rude.”
  4. “I will work to be more sensitive in my choice of words.”
  5. “I am sorry I was so late. I will be more time conscious in the future.”
  6. “Please forgive me.”
  7. “I am sorry for whatever made you mad.”
  8. ‘”My reaction was too extreme. I’m sorry.”
  9. “I want another chance to try that again.”
  10. “I said ‘sorry’, what else do you want from me?”
  11. “I’m sorry. How can I make this better?”
  1. “I’m sorry that you were waiting for 15 minutes.”
  2. “I’m sorry you feel that way… It wasn’t what I intended.”
  3. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings…”
  4. “I’m sorry for being rude, but you were [driving me crazy with those jokes].”
  5. “I’m sorry. I obviously didn’t mean it the way you misconstrued it.”
  6. “I’m sorry for what happened.”
  7. “Let’s forget this ever happened.” “Let’s move forward from here.”
  8. ”Yes I was wrong but you have to admit I’m not the only one who was wrong here.”
  9. “Yes I was wrong but in general you have to admit my point still stands.”
  10. “Yes I was wrong but it was wrong of you to make a big deal out of it.”
  11. “I can see my part in all of this. I’m sorry.”
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