Intimacy is key for a relationship

(Rabbi Simon Jacobson, A Meaningful Life – 1 minute clip)

Vulnerability is about exposing who we really are, letting go of the ‘perfect image’, and opening ourselves up.

That’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.  Or when we are worried about being judged.

Show up and be seen.
Ask for what you need.
Talk about how you feel.
Have the hard conversations. 

  • Dr. Brené Brown1

Emotional intimacy requires a humility and vulnerability that most of us are simply not comfortable with at first. The process of becoming intimate emotionally is therefore a slower one.

Even in the best relationship, with the most genuine person, it takes time for us to be convinced that it is safe to let our guard down. And if we have been hurt or betrayed in the past, it may take longer. The labyrinth of our opinions, feelings, fears, and dreams is something we guard closely, as we should.

IT’S TOUGH, BUT WORTH IT.

At the same time we shouldn’t allow the fear of revealing ourselves to become our natural state.

What a lonely existence that would be.

You were born to be REAL; not to be PERFECT.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.   Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are not weaknesses.

– Dr. Brené Brown

Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

“In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty.

Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” 

– Dr. Brené Brown

“Even if letting ourselves be seen and opening ourselves up to judgment or disappointment feels terrifying, the alternatives are worse: Choosing to feel nothing — numbing. Choosing to perfect, perform, and please our way out of vulnerability. Choosing rage, cruelty, or criticism. Choosing shame and blame.

… all of these alternatives … all lead to same thing: disengagement and disconnection”.

– Dr. Brené Brown

 

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