Mindfulness
Being present in the moment.
Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose …
to what is happening in the present moment, without judging whether it is right or wrong.
to recognize and own our thoughts and our emotions, and to choose our responses rather than getting swept away with our reactions.
Being Mindful increases your awareness and gives you better control over your responses.
Mindfulness lets you know when your approach to dealing with others is getting skewed.
Naming the emotion when you experience it involves consciously thinking about what it happening and choosing how to respond.When you name your feelings,
- you may decide that you do not want to feel that way.
- you may decide that your feelings are about things in your past rather than the situation at hand.
- you may begin to think, more tangibly, what it is others may have done to make you feel this way.
- you may think about other people’s feelings too.
If you can find the words to describe how you feel and what’s causing it you will automatically become more sensitive and aware.
If you can’t find just the right word, you might rate how strongly you are feeling that particular feeling. [example: “I am feeling annoyed – at a level 8”]
When we think about our feelings, we can often gauge how strongly we feel them by our choice of words.
CONFUSED
| STRONG baffled chaotic confused flustered rattled shaken up startled stumped stunned thrown off thunderstruck trapped | MEDIUM puzzled blurred disconcerted disquieted foggy frustrated misled mixed up perplexed troubled | SLIGHT distracted uncertain uncomfortable undecided unsure |
Try to think of what’s underneath your feelings too.
For example, we might resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings.
That anger is like an iceberg in that only some of the emotions are visible. The other emotions exist “below the water line” where they are not immediately obvious to outside observers.
Some possible feelings that may be deeper and under the emotion you are feeling.
- Unworthy or worthless
- Disapproved of, invalidated, or rejected
- Not listened to or understood
- Like a non-entity–or invisible
- Unloved, not cared about or wanted
- Insulted, disparaged, disrespected, distrusted, devalued, or discounted
- Aggressed against, taken advantage of; betrayed
- Inadequate, defective, incompetent, behind the curve, inferior or looked down upon, unacceptable
- Slow, stupid, foolish or silly; contemptible
- Dishonorable or cowardly
- Embarrassed or humiliated
- Weak, helpless, or defenseless
- Undeserving of time, attention, or recognition
- Like a failure; “loser”
- Guilty, shameful–or a bad person generally