Speak with tact.

Tact is the ability to tell the truth in a way that considers other people’s feelings and reactions. 

Toxic is…

  • Annoyed or irritated tone of voice
  • Comments that put your spouse in a negative light
  • Subtle barbs
  • Criticisms
  • Snide remarks
  • Sarcasm
  • Harsh comments

These hurt feelings, invite defensiveness, and have damaging impact.

Instead, choose words and tone that are considerate.

If TACT – consideration and respect  – is your goal, be flexible with your thinking, and your words will follow.

Some words just sound kinder and more respectful than others.

Shades of meanings – positive & negative connotations

  • Stubborn or determined
  • Snoopy or curious
  • Withdrawn or reserved
  • Bold or brash
  • Frugal or cheap
  • Energetic or hyperactive
  • Self confident or smug
  • Likes to share with others or talks too much
  • Has strong opinions or domineering
  • Creative/ innovative or doesn’t listen to rules
  • A leader or bossy
  • Attends to detail or picky
  • Generous or wastes money
  • Analytical or pessimistic

Tone matters!

Sometimes things just have to be brought up. Don’t not bring them up because you want to avoid a conflict.  Things will just fester.

Talk about the situation, not your spouse.
This promotes collaboration and doesn’t feel like criticism.

NOT: “Why do you have to be so inconsiderate and leave such a mess…?”

RATHER: “There are pizza boxes everywhere. What did you have in mind about cleaning it up?

Use tact!

DISCUSS: Tactful words

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