Create a time-out plan and contract together.

Topics for discussion:

  • What are the ways that you will ask for a time-out? Words, hand signals, eye movements, head nods? What might you do or say when you are with other people? Practice together so that you can easily understand each other.

  • Each of you share what are your preferred ways to soothe yourselves when you are stressed?

  • What are some warning signals that indicate to you that you are quickly going into fight mode and you need a time-out? What is something you observed in your spouse? Share with respect and tact.  “I noticed that before the fight, you tend to _________”

  • How will you tell each other if you are not yet ready to continue the conversation?

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