Look for the patterns of your fights

Do you find yourselves bickering or fighting over trivial things? It might be worthwhile to reflect and try to uncover the patterns of those fights. Once you know your triggers, you can begin to address those.

  • Do you tend to fight right before you are leaving the house?
  • Right before one of you is going away on a trip?
  • When you go out together?
  • About being ready on time?
  • First thing in the morning (before coffee)?
  • After too many coffees?
  • Hangry?
  • You have different expectations for an experience or event (you each think something different ought to be happening)?

When you recognize the trigger points in advance, you can preempt the fight “Let’s not say what we usually say at this point”, or just laugh it off. “Oh, we first have to go through the ‘ready to go’ dance.” Or, “Let’s try this conversation again after we have eaten.”

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