There’s a huge problem when one spouse is setting up their behavior as the baseline of normalcy. If the other spouse’s actions or reactions deviate from this false baseline, then they deemed the abnormal one.
There is no one ‘right’ way to do things.
One of the best ways any spouse can love their partner is by seeing and appreciating the differences between them (starting with the differences between genders). Not by pretending those differences don’t exist or by fighting against them.
Talk about the differences in your approaches. You just might learn a new (and better) way to see things.