When you go to your spouse and demand (nag) that s/he make a change, it will put him/her on the defense. (That’s just human nature.)
It is much easier to help him/her get there by presenting the problem you have and asking for help coming up with a solution. You never know what kind of creative solutions you can come up with together.
–>“I am having a hard time in the morning with everything that needs to get done before I head out to work. I am hoping you can help me figure this out.”
Describe the details of the problem as objectively as possible (and definitely no blaming or judging).
–>“These are all the things that I do in the morning … A, B, C, D, E, F, ….”
You might suggest a few ways that you came up with, but don’t insist that any one be implemented.
–> “These are some ideas that I came up with. What are your thoughts on these ideas? Or do you have any other ideas? I was thinking that perhaps I can shift somethings to the evening before. And maybe you can take on a few of these tasks. Maybe we can hire help.” –
Do not expect that you will have all solutions in one single conversation. Remember, you have been thinking about this for a while, and this may be the first time your spouse is hearing about it. S/he may need some time to think about creative solutions that are workable.
–>“So that’s the challenge I am having and some possible solutions. Please think about it and let’s get back to this tomorrow. Does that work for you?”