It will inevitably happen. Your spouse will do something and you my feel angry about it. That anger is really a hard emotion covering a softer emotion such as hurt, disappointment, rejection, embarrassment, rejection… But responding from anger will just exacerbate the situation. Rather, just say “ouch”.. This addresses the hurt, the underlying emotion – your vulnerability. Your spouse will know that you feel hurt by whatever was done or said. And will likely respond to the hurt that they had just inflicted
The hurtful comment: “Again you couldn’t get it done in time.”
A typical response: “You just don’t understand how busy my days are.” and worse.
Instead, respond with “Ouch”. just “Ouch”. Just that one word. Now is the not place to start a fight. If you feel you must bring it up again, do so when you are calmer.
from Laura Doyle’s work