Our relationships reflect to us what we can change in ourselves – and that can enhance our relationships.
So often, there is something that our spouse does (or doesn’t do) that grates on us, that raises a negative emotion. The other person is just a mirror of ourselves – our strengths, limitations, beliefs, traits, etc. Whatever it is that we are noticing in them is a reflection of ourselves.
A mirror reflects what is; it shows us the chocolate on our chin or spinach in our teeth. That’s all it does. The mirror won’t change the situation about the chocolate. Once we make some change, as we look into the mirror, the change is reflected back to us.
It is the same with people being our mirror. They are just reflecting ourselves back to us. If we want to see something different, the mirror has to be facing something different. We have to be different and then what is reflected back will be different.
We have to go inside ourselves to resolve whatever is bothering us about whatever the person is or isn’t doing. Once we deal with the bothersome feelings inside ourselves, the changes are reflected back to us. In other words, we will not have a charge come up when they do whatever they were doing that annoyed us.
🤔Sometimes, it is about working on a character trait – so that we are kinder, more compassionate, less critical.
🤔Sometimes, it is reframing the situation – “It’s not that they are unkind, they are trying their best with the constraints”.
🤔Or, expanding our beliefs so that they are less limiting – “I’m not incompetent, it’s just that I can’t do it yet”.
Once we do that, what is reflected back at us changes.