PAST EVENTS: Recordings and Related Resources

Pesach & Shalom Bayis with Rabbi Abba & Chanie Perelmuter

​Rabbi Abba and Chanie Perelmuter, Shluchim at Shul by the Shore in Long Beach, CA  address the typical Pesach stresses in their unique Perelmuter style – humor and practicality. They share tips, insights and laughs from their many Pesach experiences – with young children and with grandchildren and married children; at home and as shluchim; as guests and as hosts; in a tiny kitchen and a (sort of) decent sized kitchen. (recorded 2018)


3 mindsets for a joyful Shalom Bayis over Pesach:
  1. What can I do to make my spouse’s Pesach easier and more pleasurable?
  2. Show appreciation.
  3. Mind your own business. You may do things differently, and that’s all OK.

Points covered in the talk:

  • Introduction  view
  • Teamwork & Planning. Pesach is so much work. How to get everyone to pitch in and not kvech about it? view
  • Changing observance level. My spouse wants to add on chumros this year.  I don’t feel ready to take on more. view
  • Who does what. I want the kids to go to sleep at decent hour. Husband wants the kids to stay up for the seder. view

  • Going to in-laws. We are going to my in-laws for Pesach. My husband doesn’t understand why i am not thrilled about it. view
  • Guests. My spouse wants tons of guests for every meal. I’d like most meals to be about our family. view
  • OCD/ control. Every year, my husband checks over everything I do. I’m insulted, feel not trusted. It is causing stress and waste of time that he could be helping with something else. view
  • Starting seder late. The kids are excited for the seder. When my husband comes home, he starts setting up his Kaarah. Everything is already on the table (bowl of eggs, marror, etc.). but somehow takes him forever to get started and the kids get antsy.  How can I get him to start the seder on time? view
  • Guests’ help. My husband’s family is coming to us. They offered to help, as they should. But they always start so late and are so slow. the meals start so late (they make the salads, etc.  why should I do it all?)  How can I tell them or him that we have to be ready to start on time? view
  • Spouse spending time with their family. My inlaws are coming to us. My spouse spends the whole time catching up with his/her family and doesn’t spend much time with the kids. How to get him/her to realize that our family should be most important to him/her? view
  • Where to spend money. Everything costs so much. I’d rather a new big food processor and my husband wants to buy extra matzah cuz he doesn’t want to run out (every year we have tons of leftovers.) view
  • So much food.  There are always leftovers. -My husband wants to have tons of food. I don’t feel like cooking so much and it’s a huge expense.  – My wife cooks so much food. I’d rather she makes less and be less stressed and it would save some money. view
  • Final words view

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