Receive compliments, help, gifts, apologies graciously

When your spouse makes the effort to do or say something for your enjoyment or to ease your day, show your appreciation. Say ‘thank you!’ and definitely do not dismiss it, joke or divert attention.

Your spouse wants to give to you; s/he feels more connected when s/he gives AND the giving was well received. When you graciously receive what is offered, your spouse feels inspired to continue giving. Conversely, when you reject these, you are also inadvertently rejecting the person giving them.

Accept the compliment. “Thank you.” “Thank you for mentioning it.” “I so appreciate you noticing that.”

Accept the help. “Thank you for making my day easier.” Even if you are afraid (or know) that it won’t be done as well as you can do it.

Accept the gift. “This is beautiful.” (And if it isn’t quite what you had in mind, you might say “Thank you for thinking about me.”)

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