Leave lots of room for the other to clarify.
There may be times that you are not sure that you get the full picture. Ask for clarity in a way that leaves them dignity. Don’t say: “You’re contradicting yourself.” “Last time you said X, now you are sayin Y, what is the real story?”
Rather, as possible ask for clarity in the areas that are concerning you. “Last time, when you said X, I got the impression that Y, now I’m hearing something that confuses me. Can you help me better understand.”
“The way, I am understanding this is … Did I get that right?”
“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean.” “I’m not quite sure I follow you.”
“Could you clarify that, please?” “Would you elaborate on that , please?” “Could you explain what you mean by…?”
“Could you give me an (another) example?” “I wonder if you could say that in a different way.” “Could you put it differently, please?”