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Stop the downward spiral of circular arguments.

Circular argument: “You are never home so I end up going out to dinner and shopping with friends.” –> “I work late to pay for all those things you buy.” –> “I wouldn’t go out so much if you were home.” Round and round…

There are several separate issues being touched on in this conversation. Spending money, not being home. Which really have deeper underpinnings.

What came first (the chicken or the egg) is not the issue; so don’t go down that route. Rather, these should be disentangled into into discrete parts, and then each should be explored more deeply, and addressed accordingly.

Are there other things also at play here? Is there another reason he might be working late – for building career, recognition, personal satisfaction. Is there another reason she goes shopping – to keep up with the neighbors, retail therapy, loves the thrill of a great find.

With honest reflection, good guiding questions and desire to understand each other, you can truly break out of that circular argument.

J.O.T. [Just One Thing]

Through the years, many clients and students have reached out for guidance and support. They came seeking encouragement and assistance with relationship challenges. They asked tough questions. They explored their role in the relationship. They enhanced their communication and conflict resolution skills.  They adopted productive mindsets that helped them enrich their marriage, family life and so many other aspects of their lives.

Adai Ad’s (JOT) Just One Thing series was developed to share short and practical relationship insights, tools and mindsets every morning (via whatsapp and social media). These are widely received all over the world.

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