[How to Propose for Marriage]

At this point, you should know enough about her and her preferences to know how to (and if) you should propose.


Try to ascertain that she is indeed feels ready to accept your proposal for marriage.  THE PROPOSAL NEED NOT BE A SURPRISE. 

Find out ‘where she is holding’ from the shadchen.

Directly discuss marriage and a life together.


At this point, you should know enough about her and her preferences to know if she’d like an extravagant proposal or something more intimate and personal.

While some people do like their whole family to be there for the important occasion, many do not. Make sure that you know her preference.

Some people plan gimmicky proposals. Make sure that she’ll appreciate it.

While you may be a more low key intimate person and might prefer to just blurt out the question, some women want a special moment.  Maybe some flowers, in a beautiful spot.  A memory she can cherish forever.


This is a big moment in both of your lives.  Make it special.

Choose your words to reflect how you feel: that you care deeply about her and that you would like to spend the rest of your life dedicated to her.

Ask directly. “Will you marry me?”  not “Let’s do this, let’s get married, what do you think?”


There is always the small possibility that she might say that she needs more time.

Respect that.  She may just another few days to get used to the idea of being part of a ‘we’ couple. 

As disappointed as you may feel (especially if you planned something for after the proposal), respect her wishes. Do not try to convince her.  Be supportive. 

Give her the time.  Ask her what she needs to help her in these next days.  Respect whatever her choice is.






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