Literal definition: Beauty
In other words: Rachmonus (merciful compassion) – Empathy – Truth – Harmony – Balance of Chesed & Gevurah
EXPRESSIONS of Tiferes:
• Beauty is typically produced through the juxtaposition, contrast and balance of colors and textures. Similarly, the emotion of Tiferes is a balance of the two opposing qualities – Chesed and Gevurah, which results in a new quality – merciful compassion.
• Empathy is about withholding our judgments and attentively tuning in to what is happening for the other, listening to their perspective and how they perceive the situation.
• Merciful compassion is about withholding judgment that the other may not really deserve it, but giving anyway with full heart of love and kindness.
• Tiferes is a harmony of Kindness and Discipline, expressed with compassion, empathy and mercy. –
REFLECTIONS about Tiferes in your marriage:
• Do you generally act with Tiferes – giving beautifully, the perfect balance of Chesed and Gevurah? Are there certain circumstances in which you do express yourself with Tiferes, empathy, and others you do not; why is that? • How compassionate is your giving, even when you feel that your giving is not ‘deserved’? How might your spouse describe your giving? Why is that? What can you do differently?
• When acting with Tiferes, you are truly invested in the right balance for the situation. Are you truly invested and committed to your marriage and your spouse? What are some examples of that? How might your spouse describe your commitment? Why is that? What can you do differently?
• Feedback and respectful disagreement are gifts we share to help one another grow. But so much of it depends on the intent and delivery. How do you express negative feedback such as disappointment? How do you react to negative feedback from your spouse? Are those conversations respectful so that each feels heard and even empowered? Would your spouse agree; how do you know? 💡EVEN MORE
In Tanya chapter 32, the Alter Rebbe says: וְהָרַחֲמָנוּת מְבַטֶּלֶת הַשִּׂנְאָה וּמְעוֹרֶרֶת הָאַהֲבָה, Rachmonus (merciful compassion) cancels the hatred and arouses the love. Sometimes, you just may not