Why am I not ‘falling in love’?

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Some people don’t fall in love, rather they grow in love. And so, their dating experience and path to marriage is different from most. They won’t be getting those butterflies or heady feelings that many get. Still, they can ‘know’ that this person is a great marriage partner.

You may think of the bonding of a couple as glue in a glue bottle. The process of getting to know the person and increasingly finding more in common, or that is compatible, results in the glue bottle in the brain bursting open. And then the two of them stick to each other. This stickiness has the effect even if there are certain reservations, or they see some faults in the other person. The gluing effect means that they find it hard to separate, and in fact find themselves increasingly bonding.

For some people, their ‘glue bottle’ is not designed to burst open; they won’t have those loving feelings – at first. Those feelings will come as a reaction to being fully in the relationship. They do not fall in love; rather, they grow in love.

Good news, people in this group do get married – successfully. If what is set out here in anyway describes you, speak to someone who can help you get around this obstacle.

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