To change your behavior, envision your future self

If you want to change and show up differently in the world, you definitely can make that growth step. It may not be easy, but it is possible. Every day, every moment is a new opportunity to be the person you want to be.

You don’t have to remain stuck with the way you are today. And you shouldn’t believe the labels that you or others have placed on you. You are not an angry or shy or impatient person; you may just have been acting in those ways.

Envision – as clearly as possible – who you want to be in the future and keep that vision of yourself front and center of your mind. Think of it in present tense, not future and in positive terms: “I am responding to chaos as home in a calm tone,” rather than “I will not get so angry.”

A possible formula:
– a verb in present tense: I AM [do]ING
– Positive (not negative): “doing [whatever]” rather than “not doing”
– Short and specific

Then hold yourself accountable by telling other people who you want to be. This can be unnerving, but it will compel you to make your actions consistent with your new self.

Most importantly, when presented with a situation that is related to the area of growth, think as your future self: “What would a calm parent/spouse do here?”

Lastly, don’t chastise yourself if you didn’t fully act in the way you had hoped. There’s always the next time. 

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