DISCUSS: Validations

Imagine you just shared something that is really bothering you (make up a scenario). How would you feel hearing these comments?  What makes them feel validating or invalidating?  What would you like to hear instead?

• “That would make me nervous too.”
• “You’ll be fine.”
• “That’s it? From the way you’re talking I thought it was much worse.”
• “You sound so nervous. What can I do to help?”
• “Given that so much is riding on this, it makes sense that you’re feeling confused.”
• “At least it’s not ____________.”
• “So many people go through this. You’ll be fine too.”
• “Just put a smile on your face and tough it out.”
• “You can’t let anyone know you are concerned.”
• “It sounds like you’ve been through a tough time with this.”
• “Why didn’t you tell me earlier. We could have worked through this together.”
• “Don’t worry; things will work out.”
• “It’s not that big of a deal.”
• “You know what you should do…”
• “I know exactly how you feel.”
• “I hear you.”
• “When that happened to me, I did …”