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Demands do not motivate. Neither do hints.  Ask directly.

Often when a person needs something, instead of coming out and asking for it directly,  s/he only hints at what s/he needs.  Hints do not motivate. 

  • A hint does not convey a message and does not deliver an impetus to act.
  • The listener may even feel irritated, as subconsciously he expected to hear a request and its implicit compliment, and was disappointed not to receive it.
People don’t like to need someone else, so they don’t ask outright for help. Hinting displays unbridled vanity.
  • A person may need something, but shies away from the unpleasant feeling of having to ask for help. He might hint. Or make demands,  which he feel keeps him in control of the relationship.
  • They may fear that making a request will ultimately increase their indebtedness toward the giver. Since they don’t want to be obliged to return any favors, they either hint and construct a scenario in which the other acts purely on their own initiative. Or they may make demands.
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