When your choices are grounded in your values and priorities, your life is more in balance. Things seem out of whack when what we do in our lives is not aligned with our truest priorities and values. We want a strong and happy marriage, but other things – like work, household chores, social life, (the phone), societal pressures – seem to get in the way. And we feel frustrated – rightfully.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to live our lives totally according to our deepest values. We want to spend even more time with family, but we have to go to work to feed them.
And then there are the areas where we do have more control. We can choose to find more time to be with our family. We can say ‘no’ to requests of help. Or put away the phone and simply be unreachable. Or spend less time cleaning up the kids’ messes. Even if other people are not happy or they think you should do things differently.
If you are choosing from your values, be proud of your choices. You don’t need the approval of others. Actually, if you are truly choosing from your values, you will care much less about the approval of others, because you are doing what is right by you and your family.
Think about it: It is impossible to stand up for what you really want – if you don’t really know what it is you want and why you want it.
Take the time and mindspace to name and define your core values. Reflect on the issues that concern you. Explore your thoughts and feelings. Try to understand why you think the way you do.
Turn them into guiding questions to help you determine your choices. (a future post)