These words imply that there is a specific way that you expected them to respond and how they did respond isn’t it.
People respond in their own ways. They are the ones who make meaning to whatever you said or did. Even if your intentions were good, their reaction is up to them.
Be curious, “Tell me about what is going on for you. Help me know you better.”
As applicable, apologize for the hurt they feel – even if you didn’t mean to hurt them (or hurt them as badly as they feel).