You grew up in two different families. With different normals. What is typical in your family can feel so foreign in your spouse’s.
In your spouse’s family, at Sukkos time, everyone already had announced what they would bring to the Chanukah party.
In your family, it was more ad hoc, and everyone just brought something.
But if no one told you, you wouldn’t know to tell everyone in advance what you were bringing.
Help your spouse get to know your family’s dynamics and quirks.
And, if they didn’t share, you ask your spouse what you should know.