“Sometimes we say ‘I can’t, I’m unable’. What we really mean is, ‘I won’t, I’m unwilling’. The secret to success is knowing the difference between the two.”
-The Baal Shem Tov
Let’s look at this from the context of an anxiety-ridden action, like asking for a raise. We may say, ” I can’t do it.”
It’s not as if you do not have the ability to say the words. It’s that you are anxious and are making a choice not to ask. It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t.
Be honest with yourself: Is it something you can’t do because you don’t have the ability? Or is it something you are choosing not to do because of anxiety?