Nagging is in the ear of the beholder.

You may have every ‘right’ to expect something from your spouse or someone else and so you constantly remind them to do it. But they consistently don’t do it or ignore your requests. And you remind them again. That’s nagging. And people don’t respond well to nagging.

Such communication can come across as complaining, blaming and implying some power over them. Even if you don’t think of yourself as nagging, if that is how the other person feels, then they very well may resist. Not because they don’t want to do what you are asking for, but because they are unwilling to accept the implication that you are boss.

Cut down on the number of things you request; pick the most important concerns. Reduce the number of times you remind them. Asking less results in your getting more.

It starts with your mindset. The thoughts that you will only get somewhere by nagging come across in your tone and words. Start by framing these as requests, and explain why this is important to you. Make them sound like requests, not demands.

Listen to their side of things. It is more likely that they will compromise if you listen to their point of view.

If the person you are reminding doesn’t respond or continues to forget — do it yourself, find another way, or let it go. Nagging won’t help, but it will negatively impact the relationship.

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