For First Supporters: When Someone Approaches about Domestic Abuse
with: Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW & Tzvi Wesson, LCSW-R
Rabbi Pinney Herman speaks with Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW of Shalom Task Force and Tzvi Wesson, LCSW-R of Ohel about the issues of domestic abuse.
For more on this topic, see: When Someone Approaches you about Domestic Abuse - with Dovid Kohn, LCSW, CASAC
For more on this topic, see: When Someone Approaches you about Domestic Abuse - with Dovid Kohn, LCSW, CASAC
Show Notes
Rabbi Pinney Herman speaks with Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW of Shalom Task Force and Tzvi Wesson, LCSW-R of Ohel about the issues of domestic abuse.
Shalom Task Force: www.shalomtaskforce.org
Ohel Family Services:www.ohelfamily.org
First Supporter Project by Adai Ad: https://firstsupporter.org/
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for more resources about domestic abuse: www.adaiad.org/end-the-abuse
—
Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW is a clinical social worker in Far Rockaway, NY. As director of Shalom Task Force’s education department, he works to expand both the scope and depth of community and school-based educational programming, with a focus on healthy relationships and abuse awareness. He also runs a private practice in the Bayswater section of Far Rockaway, working with individuals, couples, and parents.
Tzvi Wesson, LCSW-R is the Assistant Director at OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services. He is a psychotherapist in Private Practice providing counseling/therapy for families, couples, and individuals (children/adults) and treats individuals, couples, families, and groups with the use of various techniques/theories in practice.
—
Shalom Task Force’s Domestic Abuse Services Include:
Confidential Hotline 718.337.3700
Confidential Text/ Whatsapp Line 888.883.2323
For information on educational programs, legal services, and other resources, visit the website https://shalomtaskforce.org/
Ohel’s Domestic Abuse Services Include:
• Weekly support group
• Psycho-educational group
• Safe dwelling apartments
• Trauma-informed counseling
• Case management
• Special events and workshops
Confidential number: 718-851-6300
Confidential email: access@ohelfamily.org
—
00:00 Introductions
8:00 How do we define abuse? Power & control.
14:20 How people get stuck in a marriage that is abusive.
15:43 How members of the community can bring awareness and support about domestic abuse.
17:00 Addressing the stigma so people can share what is going on.
17:36 Helping is being present and listening, not trying to repair.
18:59 Who might be an abuser? Can be anyone – even a respected person.
20:16 Avoid advice that can make things even worse.
21:40 Not being believed or judged is secondary trauma.
23:13 How does this come to the attention of the First Supporter?
24:36 Your relationship with that person is important.
26:20 Notice the signs.
28:56 How to bring it up if you notice something.
32:31 Making an opening for them to talk. It may take them time to follow up.
37:50 The abuser can be the husband or wife.
40:00 Mistakes First Supporters have made in dealing with Domestic Abuse.
43:30 Mistake 1: Referring to couple’s therapy.
47:09 Mistake 2: Not giving each one a chance to talk (alone).
47:44 Mistake 3: Encouraging one to be mevater.
51:52 Mistake 4: Speaking to the wrong person about the situation.
52:58 Safety is key. Safety plans.
58:40 Listen between the lines. Ask: “Tell me more.”
1:00:10 The role of Chosson/Kallah teacher to support their students.
1:04:05 Help people trust their gut.
1:05:30 Teach about concept of consent.
1:11:30 Q: What if husband warns his wife not to go to a rav.
1:14:30 Services Ohel provides for domestic abuse.
1:16:42 Service Shalom Task Force provides for domestic abuse.
1:21:15 Wrap up
Shalom Task Force: www.shalomtaskforce.org
Ohel Family Services:www.ohelfamily.org
First Supporter Project by Adai Ad: https://firstsupporter.org/
—
for more resources about domestic abuse: www.adaiad.org/end-the-abuse
—
Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW is a clinical social worker in Far Rockaway, NY. As director of Shalom Task Force’s education department, he works to expand both the scope and depth of community and school-based educational programming, with a focus on healthy relationships and abuse awareness. He also runs a private practice in the Bayswater section of Far Rockaway, working with individuals, couples, and parents.
Tzvi Wesson, LCSW-R is the Assistant Director at OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services. He is a psychotherapist in Private Practice providing counseling/therapy for families, couples, and individuals (children/adults) and treats individuals, couples, families, and groups with the use of various techniques/theories in practice.
—
Shalom Task Force’s Domestic Abuse Services Include:
Confidential Hotline 718.337.3700
Confidential Text/ Whatsapp Line 888.883.2323
For information on educational programs, legal services, and other resources, visit the website https://shalomtaskforce.org/
Ohel’s Domestic Abuse Services Include:
• Weekly support group
• Psycho-educational group
• Safe dwelling apartments
• Trauma-informed counseling
• Case management
• Special events and workshops
Confidential number: 718-851-6300
Confidential email: access@ohelfamily.org
—
00:00 Introductions
8:00 How do we define abuse? Power & control.
14:20 How people get stuck in a marriage that is abusive.
15:43 How members of the community can bring awareness and support about domestic abuse.
17:00 Addressing the stigma so people can share what is going on.
17:36 Helping is being present and listening, not trying to repair.
18:59 Who might be an abuser? Can be anyone – even a respected person.
20:16 Avoid advice that can make things even worse.
21:40 Not being believed or judged is secondary trauma.
23:13 How does this come to the attention of the First Supporter?
24:36 Your relationship with that person is important.
26:20 Notice the signs.
28:56 How to bring it up if you notice something.
32:31 Making an opening for them to talk. It may take them time to follow up.
37:50 The abuser can be the husband or wife.
40:00 Mistakes First Supporters have made in dealing with Domestic Abuse.
43:30 Mistake 1: Referring to couple’s therapy.
47:09 Mistake 2: Not giving each one a chance to talk (alone).
47:44 Mistake 3: Encouraging one to be mevater.
51:52 Mistake 4: Speaking to the wrong person about the situation.
52:58 Safety is key. Safety plans.
58:40 Listen between the lines. Ask: “Tell me more.”
1:00:10 The role of Chosson/Kallah teacher to support their students.
1:04:05 Help people trust their gut.
1:05:30 Teach about concept of consent.
1:11:30 Q: What if husband warns his wife not to go to a rav.
1:14:30 Services Ohel provides for domestic abuse.
1:16:42 Service Shalom Task Force provides for domestic abuse.
1:21:15 Wrap up