Often these words are said with anger or frustration. “Your [nagging/spending/ not being home]… It’s gotta stop.” While the request may be reasonable, it’s the tone and wording that make it hard for the other person to take in your perspective.

Instead, use an “I statement” explaining your perspective and what you would like.

“When you continuously ask me to do something, it reminds me of my mother and I shut down. Instead, can you please…”

“I am concerned that we won’t have enough money to save for a house. Can we please look at our budget?”

“I would like to spend more time together. Can we set a weekly schedule that works for both of us?”