We’re two unique people—different upbringings, different wiring, different life experiences. So, of course, we’ll see things differently sometimes. You don’t need to bring the other person over to your side. First, seek to understand theirs. You might learn something new or expand your own thinking. At the very least, you’ll get to know them better.

Differences in perspective aren’t a threat to the relationship—they’re an opening. A chance to learn more about each other. A chance to learn from each other and stretch how you see the world. A chance to grow closer, not farther apart.

Next time you hit a difference, try one of these:

• “I don’t fully get it yet, but I want to.”
• “This is different for me—can you help me understand where you’re coming from?”
• “We see it differently, but I care about your view.”
• “Can you walk me through how you’re seeing this?”
• “Please help me understand how you came to this thought/ idea.”