Do you (sometimes) redirect a negative emotion that belongs in one situation to someone else? Did your boss/friend/colleague/ stranger say something upsetting and you let out that frustration on your spouse/child?
That is displacing, a psychological defense mechanism that many of us develop to deal with difficult emotions. Instead of dealing with the stressful situation at hand, one feels that it is safer to focus on a topic, person or situation where there isn’t as much at stake or where one has better control.
This can create a wedge between you and the person you are letting it out on. If this happens often, it can really erode the intimacy in your relationship.
As possible, disengage and retract yourself from the upsetting situation. Give yourself some space and seek support from someone who can help you approach the situation from a healthy perspective.
Focus on your emotions and do what you can to soothe yourself.
Before coming back to the difficult situation, ensure that the time and space you had was truly enough.
–
If you have displaced your anger or frustration, apologize. Acknowledge that they didn’t deserve your negative words or actions.